Unique experiences, insights, and perspectives of Alex Ansary

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Wake me from this dream

And that is EXACTLY what this feels like. How can anyone tell me this is the real world? I think the real world created this one. That's what really fascinates me. I mean, I'm literally living in the twilight zone where TO THINK is to stand out looking like a freak. I cannot assimilate myself into this world any deeper than I have already been pressured to. Insanity is not a road I am seeking in this life. It's like nails on the chalk board. No, wait... It's worse. It's like getting food poisoning, or maybe... like getting hit with one of Raytheon's new pain ray toys! Yeah, that's the ticket. If we are to survive the coming changes, we must be prepared to go through the emotional fire and that goes against the social engineering and mind control. I simply want be the fish swimming upstream. I yearn to follow my true nature. We were all born to be free and living in a world that goes again those principles literally makes us sick to our stomach. BTW, please pass me the bucket, I gotta pause for a sec.

I think about how mad this world has become and I think of romance. Where did it go? Another world out there beyond the doom and gloom perhaps? A nice reprieve from the insanity?

I think about the woman I love a lot, even though her feelings for me are a bit different. I read about the horrors of the the world, the rapes, the killings, the callous nature of big brother. I just want to defend and protect and right now I'm a bit alarmed at how quickly it's all escalated. Well.... in my ventures in that world of romance, I keep seeing the mind numbing signs that I have to dumb myself down just a bit to have a special moment with someone, be it romantic, friendly, or otherwise. In other words, self censorship. Out of the right brain, and into the left brain. Ahhhh.... Just like the workplace, how nice! The truth is that the things I share with people scare them silly and make them feel just plain uncomfortable. My reality is a bit much for most people. It's like I got an energy field around me that's a wee bit on the intense side. It hurts inside because I want to protect the weak. Its like a double edged blade that twists on the way out. Hmmmm, I'm no super hero but this sure sounds like a weird comic book plot. Only it's not.

I will not change however, for my life does not exist to have the right mate, or companions, supporters, family. I am called to do greater things than have a ball on Broadway while getting my rocks off. There's something larger at hand. I want to wake up MEN AND WOMEN. I want to see our species be happy, to truly see loving unions between our sexes, races, and other illusionary separations that we seem to think are real. I want to see the love vibration extend itself in such a dramatic way that the darkness engulfing this planet cannot sustain itself. In other words, its not humanity or life that needs to leave the planet, its the old energy that must be washed away by the incoming tsumani of great change. I've been ranting about that for a while now, and I'm not alone.

At the same time, I don't want to simulate drugging myself by signing up to the latest new age seminar where nothing about the real world is discussed. I want be around true LIGHT WORKERS that understand that happiness really CAN come from helping others in ADDITION to the meditation sessions and other methods of raising our energy. I don't want to live a life bouncing from self help book to self help group just focused on Alex and what's up with him. Been there, done that. It's not fulfilling. That is so 1995! (I did that stuff back when I was 15 or so). No, I'm not into the bench warming or self seeking bubbly enlightenment that requires no ACTION or PARTICIPATION in life. My purpose is to shatter the enslaving bubbles around people so that they may understand the architecture of the cage they live in. This way they can find the DOOR out or at least begin the process of finding the door. We need to identify a problem first before we can fix something. Coming to terms with how corrupt the system is is nearly impossible when you are in competition with certain male functional belief systems. (AKA operating systems.)

I choose to live a reality of TRUTH TELLING out of compassion. To me, that is a much larger piece of walking the spiritual path. We are the watchmen. I don't want to leave my brothers and sisters drooling on the side of the road eating a government hand out bag of GMO corn chips, drinking fluoridated NESTLE tap water to survive as they wait for FEMA to arrive and save them from themselves ( I mean question, detain, slap, tag, and vaccinate them). The poor things have had their minds raped at different levels of the psychological spectrum of thought! DOESN'T ANYONE IN THE WORLD CARE?! Ok. I'm ranting now. Back to the point.

The reality is I am not alone. You can see much of what I see. There must be something said about living a reality where you can peer into the future, beyond the stars, and begin to connect with who you really are WHILE living the American nightmare as you prepare yourself for the days of urban survival that are waiting in the wings. I mean, we can SEE so much! Why are we here NOW at this time in history?

I look down upon the present day valley of death as I realize that I am a modern day peasant in an increasingly high tech kingdom of terror and destruction. I can hear the horsemen of doom galloping on their genetically modified horse monsters as they unleash their swords (bioweapons) and prepare for the kill. They have come for blood. Our blood. We are still seeking to identify who is really behind this mess. Meanwhile my primitive, spiritual, and intuitive defense of the species must go on to tackle a world where the consensus reality of consumeristic insanity is living off the bones of the dying world and calling it 'living.' That is not living. This is a death culture and we are now growing physically sick of it all.

I want change and I want it now. I will never give up because I feel like this is what it means to be alive. To defend. To love. To heal. To speak up for what's right. It's all I know, that's the truth and I think it's for a reason.... No one can wake me from this dream but myself. I will get to that point, when I take the right steps in my life and same goes for you.


Anonymous said...

There are many of us walking the same path as you Alex. We can't give up as long as our hearts continue to beat. The more negative energy surrounds humankind, the more it will produce its polar opposite - pure consciousness. Stay strong brother, we may have woken from the dream to find ourselves in a nightmare, but it's a nightmare where we are more than mere observers. I know you know this already, but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else when we have phrases like "conspiracy" and "tinfoil hat" thrown at us on a daily basis. May peace surround us all.


Anonymous said...

Alex, you are a very sensitive soul that has blessed our planet , and so young. My dear, hang in there and keep on doing such a fabulous job at informing the sleepy masses. We will all prevail no matter what befalls us and like you I have a foreboding sense that there is an unprecedented catastrophic event coming our way and in my deepest despair, I soothe myself by saying that when the hour arrives, I will be strong, we all will be strong and some of us will comfort the panicked scared brothers and sisters. I have peace in my heart because I have loved deeply and felt deeply unlike many who are oblivious,brainwashed, and materialstic. Alex, there are many of us out there who care and are aware of what is going on and we are praying very hard. You are our voice and inspiration. You keep on doing a terrific job, you hear! I will pray for you and for all of us. We will prevail no matter what ! We will prevail !
Warm Regards from Maria !

Randy said...

Alex, I think you've ALREADY awakened from the dream and are now flying outside the Matrix.

In a society created around the DNA encoded tendency to form submission/domination based hierarchies, those of us who have rejected that supposedly inevitable path can often find ourselves in the middle of a strange, frustrating and lonely new adventure.

It's difficult, but eventually the level of importance we assign to our positions in the various hierarchical systems, be they corporate,sexual,achievement or friendship oriented, can diminish over time.

People still trapped in these conventions rarely appreciate, comprehend or remain unintimidated by maverick personalities and iconoclastic thought..especially when TRUTH is involved.

I wish you the best and hope you receive a little light and love to counter the darkness.

Anonymous said...

You are one of the few people who gets it. I think you're awesome.


Anonymous said...

You are not alone brother!

joe anybody said...

That essay was RIGHT ON!

I feel the same way Alex
Very good description of the here and now

I am finding I need want to give my energy more and more for the very reason you so eloquently wrote about in this blog (as well as what you have been talking about over the last few year that I have known you).

I sit mesmerized by a society (of family, friends, & associates) that rolls their eyes when "I start to discuss" these very issues or my passion for a better world...sure a few agree or sit and listen. But that is not enough. Action is needed.
Dedication is needed.
I'm not playing around
In fact I don't have time to play
The world is deep shit
As society keeps ignoring the warning signs and few more lackadaisic days of ignorance and "head in the sands" of consumerism/entertainment/capitalism-glut... the then unwarranted wake up and smell the mess we are in will be ummmm "to late"

(The boat has a hole in it and everyone on the top decks are unconcerned and unwilling to even care ...drinking and partying like its the last day(s) on earth.)

I am in a hurry to do a million things (this evening) so I must move along
But I cant tell you how much that your writing about this topic was words from my own mouth...and best of all right down to the part of "Not giving up"

I am with ya brother
I am thinking outside the box
I hear the screams ...
I smell the rotting of our constitution
I hear your message loud and clear
I am with you ....
Excellent perspective = Thanks!

"Lets Roll"

~Working For Justice & Peace~
~Dedicated to Changing This World~

Anonymous said...

(top of page)

I think you meant, "in their attempts to exit the matrix" not "in their attempts to exist the matrix."

muzuzuzus said...

I really feel you............The Trickster. I have been reading about Trickster. How native peoples even when faced with terrible things have kept a sense of humour. That is not to say that there hasn't been huge drug problems in their lives which --like ours were TORN from land, and air, and animals, and meaning

But as evil as things ARE, we deserve to have flowing-into-breaks where we totally let go, and laugh till we cry, and have wild sex, and massages, and just do sweet fucka all............?

I had a psychedelic trip on shrooms about 3 or 4 years ago when I saw a docu about the Israeli Palestinian conflicts. It was like a fly on the wall type doc. and you saw Israelies, young old praying praying....even in front of the fridge rockin back and forth. it was WEIRD
I was in ecstatic laughter...BUT, and this is a big big but, felt i was ALSO seeing deadly serious. I was seing to the core of it. The folly of man.................How beliefs separate. How the actual---the actual being living NATURE being our connecter we ALL depend on is usually ignored by these patriarchal beliefs. And all the horror and misery and separation that comes from this

So yeah, read up on olf Trickster, and keep you ecstasy, and humour.................slip away. We are flowing. Dont suppress and get too manic/intense. When with your woman...in the feeling of that old Otis song, 'try a little tenderness' ;) and humour. Women LOVE humour

Anonymous said...

The path of truth is often tread seemingly alone,but not really, just another illusion, as all things are one thing just differentiated.So, Alex,dear light bearer,feel us, we're here all the time.
Warmest Regards,Susanna

Eddie said...

My wife and I have been trying to wake people up for years. We were taught by someone who started in the 70's-80's. They were taught by someone before that... and so on, and so on. The events unfolding have been known about for a very long time. And we've been trying to tell people about for just as long. I'm glad to see you've taken up the quest... I've grown tired of it. Just remember... this is all a dream.

vodnik007 said...

Television is a powerful instrument and sadly misused.
The airwaves belong to the public but are controlled by a few, who can buy time and brainwash people with garbage.
What I think is even worse, is the way it's done. I call it fragmentation of our minds. It's bad enough to be constantly hammered by commercials but lately we have relatively new method. More of repetition! Not only, that the same commercial is repeated during the same show but we are constantly shown what's next, right after the commercial break and after the break they show us what we saw before the break. Then we are hammered with clips of other shows, over and over, during the same hour. Some of the disaster shows are stretching a few seconds long clip, by repeating it as much as 25 times!
The same sound and station logo, again and again, is a form of old torture method.
Are we so stupid that we can't remember things? I don't believe commercials are way to make more sales but the whole system is a deliberate mind control of masses. People are so brainwashed, they didn't even noticed how was the last election staged with ridiculous McCain/ Palin side. People are becoming like a flock of brainless sheep.

Anonymous said...

J. Krishnamurti Quotes
Insight is not an act of remembrance, the continuation of memory. Insight is like a flash of light. You see with absolute clarity, all the complications, the consequences, the intricacies. Then this very insight is action, complete. In that there are no regrets, no looking back, no sense of being weighed down, no discrimination. This is pure, clear insight - perception without any shadow of doubt. Most of us begin with certainty and as we grow older the certainty changes to uncertainty and we die with uncertainty. But if one begins with uncertainty, doubting, questioning, asking demanding, with real doubt about man's behaviour, about all the religious rituals and their images and their symbols, then out of that doubt comes the clarity of certainty.

Anonymous said...

Love you Alex.
You are not alone.
My very best wishes to you.